forty-one.

Hiya chicas! :D Hope everyone is having a LOVELY weekend.

I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you that left me such wonderful comments! I really appreciate it. I thought I was alone in the whole leg dealio but it’s good to know I’m not crazy. Plus, I think I can finally tell me Mom… the next time I see her, which will be in a long time… like May? Gar! :( I hope I don’t chicken out by then.

Not very many eats to show and those that I do have are pretty icky looking. Since I got my camera back, I really hate taking pictures with my phone. (I use my phone for lunch/dinner pictures because I eat in the dining hall and my camera for snacks/breakfast which I usually eat in my room.)

I do have quite a few bar pictures though.

not really my favorite. it was okay, but too sweet for me.

one of my favorite bars. i love the mango-y flavor. mmm.

   wow! this is such a wonderful flavor. really, it’s almost as
delicious as the mango macadamia kind bar or the cherry
pie larabar, but not quite. it really does wake you up!

close-up. lots of almond slivers and the vanilla-yogurt stuff on the
top and bottom was pretty tasty.

mmmmm!!! I loved how  lemony it was. really really good.

a lunch and dinner from friday.chicken soup + Fritos x2 
I haven’t had Fritos since 7th grade. I forgot how much I love them!

a piece of FRIED cod (can you see him back there?),
steamed green beans + tomatoes, and some weird chip thing.

I’ve been trying really hard to eat chips lately. I’ve never been a junk food kind of person but there are some fatty foods that I really like (fritos and kettle cooked potato chips.) that I’ve “given up”.

I’ve also been trying to lay off the yogurt, especially the low fat kind. In my mind, low fat = low calorie, low calorie = restricting, etc. etc. Low fat just seems to trigger me now. However, the roomie and I are going to stop’n’shop tomorrow because I have these:

Yes! The lovely people at Stonyfield sent me some free yogurt coupons. :O

I can’t wait! I’ve only tried Fage (once) and Chobani (my love), in the Greek yogurt department, so I’m excited to expand my horizons.  I’ve heard mixed reviews about Oikos so I think I’ll do my own review tomorrow, once I taste. :) [Don’t worry, Mr. Chobani will come home with me too! The honey flavor, especially!)

I feel kinda weird today, not sure why. I just… I dunno, I’ve started to… ekk! I’m kinda embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve kinda started noticing this guy in my grade. Like, not just notice, but, you know, notice. I haven’t had this feeling since back in July of last year, right when I started going out with Fritz that, honestly as stupid/immature/childish/silly as it sounds, I really did love. He was the first and only person I ever told about ED and , when I told him, it just kinda slipped out- I didn’t mean to tell him. He was understanding about ED and helped me with it a lot. Unfortunately, it ended pretty badly in December and we stopped talking. I was really broken up about it because it was my fault. I cried all the time about it… ugg! That sounds really icky, you know? Makes me feel like one of those silly teenage girls that obsess over guys, when I’m really not. I don’t pay much attention to them at all, ‘cause they have the same maturity level that they did when they were five. But Fritz was different. (That sounds even worse to me. Gaaah!) And, I dunno, this boy just seems different too… deep down, my gut says, “No, Em, he. is. not.” but my heart says different. Whenever I see him, I basically run. Bolt is more like it. I’m afraid that he might be able to see through all the fake crap I put up when I’m with other people. I really hate feeling jumbled up like this, especially when compounded with ED.

Because, to be honest, ED is being an ass lately. I had a really bad day eating today and I went to the gym for a loooong time. And the worst part? I’ve been planning since about Wednesday night / Thursday morning when I could go to the gym and work out a lot. I’ve been piling a lot of food on my plate for lunch and only eating a little. I got really freaked out when one of my friends asked, “Why do you always get so much food and then never eat it? You don’t eat anything!” ED’s being a sneaky little thing and getting back at me since I’m at school. And I’m feeling really icky about my legs. They just seem extra fat this week… and it’s only the first week back. No, I’m going to beat this. I’m going to win. ED’s not going to have control over the rest of my life.

Ahhh! I’m probably boring you girls by now with all my babbling! I’ll be commenting later night ‘cause I’ve got lots of time. ;) Have a nice Saturday night!