a new attitude!

so, ladies, here’s the update (through pictures, since I’m a tad bit lazy):

yes, that’s fruit in the shape of a flower, down yonder.

Topic #1: New look!
It’s a lot more springier now, so I thought I’d ditch the old grey layout and bring in some cheer! Hope you guys like it. :)

Topic #2: Award!
Thaaaaaank you, Baylee. :] I always feel so much happier after getting award- helps me find the strength to keep trekkin’.
Problem is, most of you chicas have already gotten it, so this goes out to anyone who hasn’t gotten it yet.
Oh! And just realized that Debbie gave it to me too. :D Missed that earlier, but thank you all the same! *hug*

Topic #3: Eight things!
Back when I used to have a Myspace (deleted, long story), I loved posting bulletins like this!

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To: 
1) July! I’ll be in Atlanta at a Youth Conference for Medicine and I can’t wait.
2) Springfest! My school has a big festival each Spring, with free Ben&Jerry’s, Del’s Frozen Lemonade, and BBQ.
3) Driving! I don’t really like to, but now that I am officially a driver (meaning I have my real license!), I’m eager to go on adventures.
4) 17 – 20 April! Mi madre va a mi escuela para visitar. :)
5) Monday! Advisory/midterm grades come out. I’m aiming for all A+’s this term. I almost had it last term, but I got an A in Spanish. D:
6) Tomorrow! My dorm trip to bowling is tomorrow afternoon and I’m stoked. We’re eating out at this swanky Japanese place.
7) May 23! It’s the last day of classes for me. Unfortunately, there’s a week of exams that follows.
8) May 29! First day back in Georgia since March. :o Can’t wait! It’s going to be horribly hot and humid, but oh so wonderful!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1) Skipped the gym, whoo!
2) Freaked out, ewww. Result of ED telling me Fork Boy thinks I’m fat. Gar!
3) Went to the Coffeehouse with my roomie and friend. I ordered a Chai Freeze (delicious!) and a parfait. Take a look at the pictures below- I bet you’ll be soo jealous.
4) Dressed down! The dress code at my school is formal, but yesterday was a special day where we could wear jeans. Much more comforting, but kinda scary in ED world. One word: thighs.
5) Watched the Dissipated 8 of Middlebury College perform. They were so wonderful! Look them up and give ‘em a listen!
6) Ate spinach-tomato-feta cheese bowtie pasta, the dining hall’s best food, imo.
7) Started Conrad’s Heart of Darkness.
8) Added a ton of new artists/songs to my music library, so I have new stuff to listen to during Study Hall.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1) Tell ED to kick the bucket.
2) Work. All my friends at school have jobs during the summer, but I can’t work because it’s too far to drive to any decent place of business.
3) Spend more time outdoors. I always used to love going outside when I was little, but ED trampled all over that.
4) Be more social. Sounds lame, but I have the tendency to retreat into my shell like a little turtle and avoid any conversation outside my circle of friends.
5) Learn to stop keeping things bottled up. I let things pile up inside and then snap. It hurts and I don’t like it!
6) Run three miles in 25-30 minutes. I haven’t started running again so I know that I’m a bit behind and well… slow.
7) Sail. I’ve always wanted to try- Ted Turner’s fault- and at my school, it’s very popular. Plus, uhhh, Fork Boy sails. ;) He’s the best on the island, apparently.
8) Start ballet again. I stopped back in 6th grade, because, well, no reason. I just did. My mom was so mad that I stopped and wanted me to keep going, but I didn’t. I wish I had listened to her and kept up with it.

8 Shows I Watch:
1) House
2) The Closer
3) Saving Grace
4) Gilmore Girls
5) The Secret Life of the American Teenager (Lame, but addicting!)
6) I Love Money (Again, lame but addicting!)
7) In Plain Sight
8) The Office

Topic #4: Fork Boy
So, I have this friend that… well, hasn’t always been so trusty worthy. Last year, in the Spring, she wasn’t my friend and I really disliked her. Why? Because she was majorly flirting with the guy I was dating. He had asked her out so many times, but she always said no. As soon as I started going out with him, she wanted him and she wanted him bad. She was all over him when I wasn’t there and would flirt with him even when I was. I really didn’t like her then, but this year, we became much closer. We both faced some really horrible boy problems and we kind of bonded over that. We both have the same humanities class and lunch period so we spend a lot of time together. All of my other friends told me to be a little cautious with her, considering the past, but I decided that I wanted to give her a second chance.
So, I told her about Fork Boy.
I told her about how every one thinks we’ll be the perfect couple, how he glares/stares at me, how we used to be friends, how he always eats really slow at lunch so it just so happens that he leaves the same time I do… every day. (And I am one of the slowest eaters known to man, so come on! There’s something there, right?)

I also told her about my dream.
This dream happened a few nights ago and it was one of those dreams in reverse… like the last part happens first, the first part happens last.  Really weird, but it scared me.
It started out with my great aunt and I riding in a carriage through Poland. Then it flashed to Fork Boy and he grabbed my arm, screaming at me to listen to him, that it wasn’t like that, that he really only did it to make me jealous. Then I’m in front of Frosty Freeze (ice cream shop), but I’m not ordering anything. Next, my friend is crying and repeating, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean too. We only did it to make you guys jealous. It wasn’t supposed to be like this!” Then, I’m at Frosty Freeze again and the woman at the counter is asking me why I’m crying. Finally, it ends with me, buying a plane ticket to Poland, and sobbing over a text message from this really bitchy girl in my chem class, saying “*My friend* made out with *Fork Boy* in front of the whole sailing team, haha.”
And I told her all of this. She said she’d never ever even try to steal a boy from me… but she has before. I started to get really freaked out. ED set in and all I could think of was how much prettier/skinnier/smarter she was. She has things in common with him- they both sail, they both live nearby, they have the same old friends from before this school. I just psyched myself out and I felt like crap all morning long. I went to the gym early this morning, hoping I could just block it out. It worked until I came out of the gym and he walked by. Totally blew all the progress I had made in those gym hours.

I talked to one of my friends about it and she just looked at me, silent. I hate when people look at me for extended periods of time (thank you, ED), so of course, I got all weirded out.

You know what she said?
”Wow, Em, you have fallen so hard.”

And she’s so horribly right.
I used to have this huge crush on him last year and we were friends. I had almost every class with him and we were both kind of the dumb kids… not saying we were actually stupid, but we were in Geo H, when we’d never taken Algebra I, and in Physics, which required at least AG2 math skills. We would always see who got the lowest scores and laugh about it. (Rumor has it, he got a 235/240 on the PSATs, so yeah, not stupid.)

But, haven’t I learned my lesson?
With Fritz, I fell so hard, so fast. It was great- I was happy and so was he. Everyone thought we were the couple that would last past college. He was even going to apply to Emory (where I want to go), so he could have that as his 2nd choice. We had plans, even though it sounds ridiculous. (I mean, I’m 16, seriously!) But we did. We fell apart though. I was devastated.

Do I really want to do this again?
Especially when I know that my friend *might* just go after him.
And what if she does and she gets him?
How would I feel about that?

Raaaaaaaaaaawr!
High school = suckage.
Avoid at all costs.

Don’t you wish you could just sleep through those years?

Ending on a positive note though! :)

chai freeze. :D

honey bun.

yogurt parfait with a big ole blackberry.

   Squeeee! Isn’t he cute? :)

Wow, if you guys made it this far, you are something else. Mucho amor, mis chicas. I feel like I’m being such a complaining little squirt lately, but I can’t stop myself. I have, as my dad calls it, “diarrhea of the mouth” and I can’t stop talking… typing.
Thanks for reading though. :) Makes me happy.

I’ll comment on your blogs, asap.
Enjoy your Saturday/Sunday.

♥ ♥ ♥