18 April, 2009

a new attitude!

so, ladies, here’s the update (through pictures, since I’m a tad bit lazy):

001yes, that’s fruit in the shape of a flower, down yonder. 003 006 008014001 002 003 DSC09908

Topic #1: New look!
It’s a lot more springier now, so I thought I’d ditch the old grey layout and bring in some cheer! Hope you guys like it. :)

Topic #2: Award!
Thaaaaaank you, Baylee. :] I always feel so much happier after getting award- helps me find the strength to keep trekkin’.
Problem is, most of you chicas have already gotten it, so this goes out to anyone who hasn’t gotten it yet.
Oh! And just realized that Debbie gave it to me too. :D Missed that earlier, but thank you all the same! *hug*

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Topic #3: Eight things!
Back when I used to have a Myspace (deleted, long story), I loved posting bulletins like this!

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To: 
1) July! I’ll be in Atlanta at a Youth Conference for Medicine and I can’t wait.
2) Springfest! My school has a big festival each Spring, with free Ben&Jerry’s, Del’s Frozen Lemonade, and BBQ.
3) Driving! I don’t really like to, but now that I am officially a driver (meaning I have my real license!), I’m eager to go on adventures.
4) 17 – 20 April! Mi madre va a mi escuela para visitar. :)
5) Monday! Advisory/midterm grades come out. I’m aiming for all A+’s this term. I almost had it last term, but I got an A in Spanish. D:
6) Tomorrow! My dorm trip to bowling is tomorrow afternoon and I’m stoked. We’re eating out at this swanky Japanese place.
7) May 23! It’s the last day of classes for me. Unfortunately, there’s a week of exams that follows.
8) May 29! First day back in Georgia since March. :o Can’t wait! It’s going to be horribly hot and humid, but oh so wonderful!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1) Skipped the gym, whoo!
2) Freaked out, ewww. Result of ED telling me Fork Boy thinks I’m fat. Gar!
3) Went to the Coffeehouse with my roomie and friend. I ordered a Chai Freeze (delicious!) and a parfait. Take a look at the pictures below- I bet you’ll be soo jealous.
4) Dressed down! The dress code at my school is formal, but yesterday was a special day where we could wear jeans. Much more comforting, but kinda scary in ED world. One word: thighs.
5) Watched the Dissipated 8 of Middlebury College perform. They were so wonderful! Look them up and give ‘em a listen!
6) Ate spinach-tomato-feta cheese bowtie pasta, the dining hall’s best food, imo.
7) Started Conrad’s Heart of Darkness.
8) Added a ton of new artists/songs to my music library, so I have new stuff to listen to during Study Hall.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1) Tell ED to kick the bucket.
2) Work. All my friends at school have jobs during the summer, but I can’t work because it’s too far to drive to any decent place of business.
3) Spend more time outdoors. I always used to love going outside when I was little, but ED trampled all over that.
4) Be more social. Sounds lame, but I have the tendency to retreat into my shell like a little turtle and avoid any conversation outside my circle of friends.
5) Learn to stop keeping things bottled up. I let things pile up inside and then snap. It hurts and I don’t like it!
6) Run three miles in 25-30 minutes. I haven’t started running again so I know that I’m a bit behind and well… slow.
7) Sail. I’ve always wanted to try- Ted Turner’s fault- and at my school, it’s very popular. Plus, uhhh, Fork Boy sails. ;) He’s the best on the island, apparently.
8) Start ballet again. I stopped back in 6th grade, because, well, no reason. I just did. My mom was so mad that I stopped and wanted me to keep going, but I didn’t. I wish I had listened to her and kept up with it.

8 Shows I Watch:
1) House
2) The Closer
3) Saving Grace
4) Gilmore Girls
5) The Secret Life of the American Teenager (Lame, but addicting!)
6) I Love Money (Again, lame but addicting!)
7) In Plain Sight
8) The Office

Topic #4: Fork Boy
So, I have this friend that… well, hasn’t always been so trusty worthy. Last year, in the Spring, she wasn’t my friend and I really disliked her. Why? Because she was majorly flirting with the guy I was dating. He had asked her out so many times, but she always said no. As soon as I started going out with him, she wanted him and she wanted him bad. She was all over him when I wasn’t there and would flirt with him even when I was. I really didn’t like her then, but this year, we became much closer. We both faced some really horrible boy problems and we kind of bonded over that. We both have the same humanities class and lunch period so we spend a lot of time together. All of my other friends told me to be a little cautious with her, considering the past, but I decided that I wanted to give her a second chance.
So, I told her about Fork Boy.
I told her about how every one thinks we’ll be the perfect couple, how he glares/stares at me, how we used to be friends, how he always eats really slow at lunch so it just so happens that he leaves the same time I do… every day. (And I am one of the slowest eaters known to man, so come on! There’s something there, right?)

I also told her about my dream.
This dream happened a few nights ago and it was one of those dreams in reverse… like the last part happens first, the first part happens last.  Really weird, but it scared me.
It started out with my great aunt and I riding in a carriage through Poland. Then it flashed to Fork Boy and he grabbed my arm, screaming at me to listen to him, that it wasn’t like that, that he really only did it to make me jealous. Then I’m in front of Frosty Freeze (ice cream shop), but I’m not ordering anything. Next, my friend is crying and repeating, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean too. We only did it to make you guys jealous. It wasn’t supposed to be like this!” Then, I’m at Frosty Freeze again and the woman at the counter is asking me why I’m crying. Finally, it ends with me, buying a plane ticket to Poland, and sobbing over a text message from this really bitchy girl in my chem class, saying “*My friend* made out with *Fork Boy* in front of the whole sailing team, haha.”
And I told her all of this. She said she’d never ever even try to steal a boy from me… but she has before. I started to get really freaked out. ED set in and all I could think of was how much prettier/skinnier/smarter she was. She has things in common with him- they both sail, they both live nearby, they have the same old friends from before this school. I just psyched myself out and I felt like crap all morning long. I went to the gym early this morning, hoping I could just block it out. It worked until I came out of the gym and he walked by. Totally blew all the progress I had made in those gym hours.

I talked to one of my friends about it and she just looked at me, silent. I hate when people look at me for extended periods of time (thank you, ED), so of course, I got all weirded out.

You know what she said?
”Wow, Em, you have fallen so hard.”

And she’s so horribly right.
I used to have this huge crush on him last year and we were friends. I had almost every class with him and we were both kind of the dumb kids… not saying we were actually stupid, but we were in Geo H, when we’d never taken Algebra I, and in Physics, which required at least AG2 math skills. We would always see who got the lowest scores and laugh about it. (Rumor has it, he got a 235/240 on the PSATs, so yeah, not stupid.)

But, haven’t I learned my lesson?
With Fritz, I fell so hard, so fast. It was great- I was happy and so was he. Everyone thought we were the couple that would last past college. He was even going to apply to Emory (where I want to go), so he could have that as his 2nd choice. We had plans, even though it sounds ridiculous. (I mean, I’m 16, seriously!) But we did. We fell apart though. I was devastated.

Do I really want to do this again?
Especially when I know that my friend *might* just go after him.
And what if she does and she gets him?
How would I feel about that?

Raaaaaaaaaaawr!
High school = suckage.
Avoid at all costs.

Don’t you wish you could just sleep through those years?

Ending on a positive note though! :)

010

chai freeze. :D

011

honey bun.

012

yogurt parfait with a big ole blackberry.

015   006 002Squeeee! Isn’t he cute? :)

Wow, if you guys made it this far, you are something else. Mucho amor, mis chicas. I feel like I’m being such a complaining little squirt lately, but I can’t stop myself. I have, as my dad calls it, “diarrhea of the mouth” and I can’t stop talking… typing.
Thanks for reading though. :) Makes me happy.

I’ll comment on your blogs, asap.
Enjoy your Saturday/Sunday.

♥ ♥ ♥

15 comments:

ohsoravenous said...

Emmy!

Oh dear...that girl doesn't sound too trustworthy! Even though you're friends now, I would def. be careful! HOWEVER. That is HER problem - not YOURS. So - don't let ED tell you Fork Boy doesn't like you cause you're "fat"! Pssh! You're the opposite of fat! You're a hot sexy mama and I'm sure Fork Boy secretly wants you BAD!

Eek..I'm sorry things didn't work out with Fritz. Trust me, I've felt the same way about a boy in the past...in it hurts BIG TIME. And, of course, ED likes to blame everything on our bodies, but we know he's just lying.

Much love chica <3

Erin said...

i really like your blog :) your pictures are beautiful.
i'm sorry ED is giving you grief. you are anything BUT fat - try not to listen to the ED voice because what it makes you believe about yourself is just not true. and those grades - all A+'s except for one A is incredible. fork boy is stupid if he doesn't like you.
high school is pretty annoying; i hope things go a little better this week. take care.

burpandslurp said...

I think you already know how to distinguish between facts and ED's lies! you're a beautiful, awesome girl, and don't you forget it! fork boy has a fork stuck in his eye if he can't recognize that in you!
looove gilmore girls too! which is your fav character? I loved Jesse, and Michel and french dude!

Meg said...

Don't listen to ED, ED is a liar. Hell, ED isn't even real. Listen to your real voice, the voice that tells you that you're beautiful. Listen to otehrs that tell you you're beautiful as well- cause it's true. And I know Fork Boy thinks you are too, so don't let anything or anyone tell you different. I hope the rest of this weekend goe well for you! Don't even worry about 'complaining' because you're letting it all out - which is healthy! So don't consider it complaining at all :) and about "diarrhea of the mouth", girl I totally have that too ;) and I'm proud of it! Haha!

LOVE, Meg

Tess @ Six Feet Under Blog said...

Hello! I am a fellow blogger and I do a weekly post called Words With a Blogger Wednesday and I would love to interview you! If you are interested, please email me at tessii 1 at mchsi dot com . Or you can get a hold of me through my blog: www.sixfeetunderblog.com . Thanks for your time and hope to hear from you soon!

Baylee♥ said...

Girls SUCK. more than boys do. I cant believe your friend. You dont need people like that in your life!!!

Gah ive missed hearing about fork boy. What a wierdo/mysterious hottie. hahaha. Dont feel too bad about being one of the dumb kids..I took pre-algebra and algebra twice, and the only reason i passed geometry was because the teacher always yelled at my for talking too much and didnt want to have me in class again! bahaha.

it is SO easy to fall for someone, but you cant lose sight of yourself, and your needs girl. Believe me, Ive done my FAIR SHARE of falling and believing that I was going to spend the rest of my life with that one person. 30 years ago, it could happen..but now, it isnt reality, unfortunately. times have changed so much, and it sucks!! big time!!

And i agree, high school sucks. but once you're out of it..the drama still doesnt stop, i hate to break it to ya! i'd like to lie and say that it doesnt matter how you look or what you drive after high school - but thats SO not the truth, unfortunately! HIGH SCHOOL NEVER ENDS!

I LOVE your pictures!!

Tiny Tina. said...

ED is a stupid idiot who WRONGLY compares us to anyone and everyone..but really, you are so much more beautiful in every way than that girl and I have no bloody idea what she looks like, Emmy Wemmy! (Emmy Wemmy?! 0_0)
I think whatever happens with Fork Boy will be what is supposed to happen, if that makes sense. You will know if it's right or not.
If something big happens, yay! If nothing more comes out of it with Fork Boy and you, you can move onto bigger and better things. ;] But whatever does happen..please know that you are you. You can make your own fun, your own happiness, your own everything! You don't need a guy to determine that. You're so radiant and funny and friendly and just GORGEOUS in every aspect! You're so uniquely EMILY, and this I can tell just from reading your blog. Enjoy being you, and the people that are right for you will gravitate towards you. =)
Oh, and we have a whole bowl of those cookies left over..fly over to Aussie land and we'll have a tea partay with Easter cookies aplenty! =D
Lots of loveeeee

Stacey said...

Emily, my love, I am so happy to read a new post from you! yay!

The eatins look yummers as always. Chai freeze? delicious! I want one.

As for the fork boy situation: I would be very hesitant around this girl. She sounds like a "friend" I had junior year. She did a lot of horrible things to me, many of which I think contributed to the development of my ED. She would talk about guys she knew that were interested in me but then she would date them instead! Bitch. But I think if fork boy really likes you (and it sounds like he looooves you! hehe) then I think something good could happen :) You are so much better than this other girl, he'd be crazy not to want YOU! You're hands down gorgeous, you have an amazing personality, you're friendly, you're EMILY! Remember that nothing can change that, certainly not a boy. And if it doesn't work out with fork boy, you'll find someone else later. You might even like them better!
So good luck with this whole situation. I truly hope it works out well!

tinyirishdancer said...

Oh Emmy. Your posts always make me giggle. And salivate. Which is an odd combination, now that I think about it.

ANYHOW. I luff the new spring-y layout! Must clear out my icky drab one soon.

And ze eats are nummyful, as per usual. Chai freeze+honeybun+Larabar+YOGGIE = particularly droolworthy, imho.

Although that likkle bumblybee is adorabable, too. =]

Ahh. Boys.
More trouble than they're worth.
And, as others have mentioned, I'd keep an eye on that friend of yours, too. She sounds a little shady..o.o

Well, I'm off to do sum tarea. But before I do - I'm sorry I've been so MIA, lately. So I'm handing out more complimentary Morgan sundaes as compensation.
Thought you'd want to know. ;]

Alrighty. Luff ya, chica! Hope you're having a lovely week! <3<3

P.S. FRIED WAFFLEZ? Now THIS I must try. Immediately.

Alisa@Foodista said...

Hi Em, I really like your blog.Love your stories, and your wonderful pictures! Your honesty is very refreshing and brings back so many fond memories! Hope you wont mind but I'd love to direct Foodista readers to your site, just add this little widget here and it's all set to go, Thanks!

Terra said...

HI, I came over from six feet under words with a blogger and I am in a hurry to get my daughter from Preschool so I have to come back later to read - but I wanted to offer a total blog make over for free! I love designing blogs and I usualy only do them for friends and family but I love that you are 16 and keeping a blog (my 8 year old daughter has one too but it is private) if your interested email me and off to work I will go! Again no charge -

Helene said...

I came over from Tess' blog (Six Feet Under) and I'm completely impressed with your blog!

First off, you totally won me over with that scrumptious up-close pic of the mac-n-cheese!!

Secondly, I'd keep a close eye on that friend of yours. But sounds like you already know that!!

Jenjen © GottaLoveMom said...

Emily,
I just did a quick browse and your photos make me hungry..
I just added your blog to my list so I'll be stopping by again!
Keep smiling,
Jenjen

Tracy said...

aww btw COCONUT CREAM PIE LARABAR BUDDIES! have you tried microwaving it? i can't find it anywhere anymore....is it in whole foods? =(
hugs? i commend you on falling hard...i guess i did too for some guy, but he turned out to only want something from me...=(

Baylee♥ said...

hey girl! i changed my blog address!! not sure if it will automatically switch over in the blogroll links or not - but it is http://caffeineandlaughter.blogspot.com/

love you!
baylee